Friday, October 28, 2011

tiny earthquakes & other nonsense

Last week was a doozy.

On monday, I awoke with a bladder infection.

On thursday, I was clobbered with the worst case of PMS I have ever had in my entire life. 

To top it off, there was not one but two earthquakes, ones that actually shook our apartment. They were 4.2 and 3.8, respectively. Other minor ones that have happened since we've moved here we could just hear the rumbling. 

Friday evening while I was still acting like a psycho we had another earthquake.

On sunday my psychotic mood had finally evaporated, but was replaced by terrible cramps. Thanks Aunt Flo! But I'll gladly exchange physical pain for emotional pain any day.

So far this week...

I caught a cold.

I woke up very early yesterday morning to Matilda jumping on me howling guessed it, another earthquake. I slugged Danny in the arm and yelled "earthquake!" and fell back asleep. 

Then while Danny was walking to the train to go to work, he noticed that the drivers side window of our car got smashed in. Oddly enough, nothing was taken. There was a bunch of paycheck stubs with very personal info stuffed in the console and Danny's lefty golf clubs in the trunk. Glass half full?

But I tell ya. This week was far better than last. 

Having those crazy hormones running through me making me so angry, scared, full of despair. I totally flipped out on Danny, and thankfully he wouldn't have any of it, making me realize that something was just not right. For the next few days I felt like I had been drinking, my feelings were so out of control and for no apparent reason. It's never that bad- and really I only get PMS once or twice a year. 

I've worked so hard to maintain and keep on top of my anxiety and depression, that when stuff like that happens and I'm in that dark place again, I get so mad and I think "No no no no! I'm not supposed to be here again!" and I feel like a total failure.

But I'm not a total failure. I'm just fine. My hormones got the best of me, and it was not fun at all. But I'm not back in that dark place- I'm exactly where I want to be. Exactly where I deserve to be, living my dream, in a city with no snow, sewing to my hearts content with my ever loving, supportive and non-bullshit taking husband. 

In other news, I have officially quit drinking Dr Pepper. Yes, after a lifetime addiction, I have finally given it up. And let me tell you- it was SO hard. Like harder than when I quit smoking. Ahem, yes I was once a total idiot and I can't even believe that I ever started. Anyways. I think about it every day. It's been almost a month, and I still think about it daily. Funny, being a recovering alcoholic I've never thought about booze since quitting drinking. Funny strange.

This weekend we have planned a geeky outing, going to the computer history museum. I am both excited and somewhat bored with the idea. I'm sure I'll be fine, if Danny and his geek friends go all crazy on me and stay forever, at least I'll have my iphone to keep me entertained. High fives for technology!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go blow my raw nose and feed the wailing cat.

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