thirty years and counting

So today, I am officially 30.

When I was young, I always thought that by the time I was 20, I would be "grown up".

Then I turned 20, and didn't act or feel "grown up" at all.

I lied to my family about everything.

I dated and befriended evil, manipulative, and opportunistic thugs.

I went to rehab.

I lost all my "friends".

I had to claim bankruptcy.

I lost my house.

Then I turned 25. Back then, I was grateful I even made it to 25. And 30 seemed so far away.

I have been sober for almost 5 years.

I treat my cats like they are people. Like they are my children.

I have perfected sugar cookies, cupcakes, and cheesecake.

I am married to my soul mate.

My parents and my siblings are now my best friends.

I have never been happier in my life...

Do I feel "grown up"?

No.

Do I look "grown up"?

Not sure. I hope not too much.

But if this is what "grown up" feels and looks like...

Then yes, I am.

Finally.